My War With Food Addiction

Wouldn't you love to feel super healthy? Imagine your body bursting with vitality, every cell fed with nutrient-rich food. 

Here in the 21st century are florescent-lit aisles of cans, boxes and bags, set out by a corrupt food industry, a provider driven by greed for money, ruthlessly using addiction for profit. Fat, sugar, salt and additives are the tools of the trade. Bodies riddled with cancer and heart disease are of minor concern.

Once addicted, it's hard to say "no." The body craves foods that are harmful. Try to improve your diet, and cravings pop up everywhere.

Some people fight battles with guns and tanks, others use spoons and kitchen utensils. I remember the Battle of the Bulge. The Ponderosa Salad Bar suffered a six-plate defeat. I remember a war with a chocolate Easter bunny. In the middle of the night, I bit its head off. I admit it. I was a food addict. My life was controlled by food. Moderation was never my strong point. When it came to ice cream, one scoop was never enough. I once ate a two-and-a-half gallon tub of maple walnut ice cream. It almost froze my stomach. To make matters worse, it was my roommate’s ice cream! I felt so badly afterwards that I put a 12-foot chain through the handles of the refrigerator and cupboards and told my roommate, "here's the key to your food." He wasn't impressed.

It's not that I was overweight. I was thin because God had blessed me with a fast metabolism. I desperately wanted to eat nutritiously to help heal the damage from drug abuse. Although I had gotten free from drugs, I felt weak and sick. The only way I felt better was to eat a light diet, but the more I tried not to think about food, the more obsessed I became. I would stop eating cookies for three weeks, eat one cookie, and then relapse with a cookie binge. No cookie was safe from me. In minutes, a bag would be reduced to crumbs. If it wasn't cookies, it was chocolate. I became a chocoholic with a $28-a-day habit. I could drive only short distances, as I would have to stop every 15 minutes for a chocolate fix. Mornings were hell. There is nothing worse than a cocoa bean hangover. After hating myself for being so weak, I'd make a decision to stop, only to take another beating from Mr. Bigâ. I couldn’t win a battle with a peanut butter cup. In hand-to-mouth combat, I would come out a loser. 

I needed discipline. So off to the gym I went, dragging a drug-abused body through the paces. Little by little, discipline developed. I could even juice fast and my body was starting to feel much better, but in the area of diet, I was still battling with food. I felt out of control.

The battle within my soul went on for many years, sometimes achieving victories over my compulsive behavior, only to fall again. And how I fell! Compulsion, obsession and addiction carry a stiff price. But just when all seemed hopeless, understanding came.

Bulging bellies and heavy hips are not enough to drive us away from those fatty, sugar-filled foods. High blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease and looming health conditions are not enough to repel us. Like a moth to a flame, we stand mesmerized by a 40-watt refrigerator light. No hunger to satisfy, just a pleasure junkie looking for a fix.

Throwing all restraint aside, we have filled the bloodstream with fat, cholesterol, toxins, additives, and preservatives, consuming foods with no nutrition, expecting our bodies to quietly endure the barrage without the consequences. But, a pleasure-centered diet has a price. Disease and obesity are the plague of the 21st century. Surgery and chemical medicines have become the band-aid for a problem caused by inner pain and emptiness.

Desperation seeks hope in diet programs, liposuction, breakfast shakes, exercise, breathing techniques, stimulants, weight-loss drugs, hypnosis, plastic wraps, creams, vibration machines and electric muscle stimulation — more band-aids. Most of these techniques fail because they cannot relieve the aching of a soul crying for food to soothe the pain.

If we honestly evaluate our decisions and actions, we will face the sobering realization that our emotions are in the driver's seat. Feelings compel us to act. When they become uncontrollable, they are defined as compulsive, obsessive or addictive behavior.